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An open letter to the Internet in general.

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Dear Internet,

I’ve been on a number of different websites today, and I’ve noticed that the Internet, in general, cannot properly spell, capitalize, or recognize a brand name. Here’s just a few of the things that have jumped out at me repeatedly today:

Lo and behold, not low and behold.
iPod, not I-Pod, i-pod, or IPOD. Similarly, iTunes - not I-Tunes, i-tunes, or ITUNES.
While we’re on it: it’s a brand name. Your SanDisk Sansa is not an iPod. It is an MP3 player (or, since most of them support more than one format, an audio player). So is your iPod. An iPod is a type of audio player; it is not something in a separate category all its own (i.e., ‘audio players’ and ‘iPods’).
Mac, not MAC, unless you are referring to a MAC address, which has nothing to do with being a Mac, but which a Mac does have.
Voilà, not walah or viola.
Java, not JAVA. It is not an acronym.
Websites or sites, not websights or sights.
Brakes = car. Breaks = bones. Breaking your brakes = get new brakes. Slamming on the brakes = stopping the car. Slamming on the breaks = painful.
Harmless cartoons, not terrorism (are you paying attention, Boston?).
Don’t get me started on apostrophes. The entire Internet has forgotten how to use apostrophes. Fuck you, Internet.

Sometimes I really wish I had never been taught how to properly spell, punctuate, or capitalize. Maybe I could live in blissful ignorance like most of the rest of my country, being led by a man who can’t fucking pronounce ‘nuclear.’ NU. KLEE. UR. IT IS NOT THAT HARD.

Sincerely,
Phil

P.S. Don’t be this guy.

Get a brain! morans

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