Archive for the ‘Language’ Category

The newest of the email foodgroups

Bacn: email you want, but not right now. (As opposed to spam, which would be email you don’t want pretty much ever.)

As in:

… you name it! If you want to read it at any time, but not necessarily right now, it’s bacn.

August 27th, 2007 · Tags Email, Internet, Language, lol | Comments Off

I hope you’re cool with ‘ginormous’

Sure, people who continue to hate on the words ‘ginormous’ or ‘crunk’ will probably insist the OED is the only real dictionary, but you know what? Merriam-Webster is okay in my book.

It was a ginormous year for the wordsmiths at Merriam-Webster. Along with embracing the adjective that combines “gigantic” and “enormous,” the dictionary publishers also got into Bollywood, sudoku and speed dating.

But their interest in India’s motion-picture industry, number puzzles and trendy ways to meet people was all meant for a higher cause: updating the company’s collegiate dictionary, which goes on sale this fall with about 100 newly added words.

As always, the yearly list gives meaning to the latest lingo in pop culture, technology and current events.

There’s “crunk,” a style of Southern rap music; the abbreviated “DVR,” for digital video recorder; and “IED,” shorthand for the improvised explosive devices that have become common in the war in Iraq.

If it sounds as though Merriam-Webster is dropping its buttoned-down image with too much talk of “smackdowns” (contests in entertainment wrestling) and “telenovelas” (Latin-American soap operas), consider it also is adding “gray literature” (hard-to-get written material) and “microgreen” (a shoot of a standard salad plant.)

I suppose if crunk is in, it’s only a matter of time before hyphy is too. Oh, English, you bastard of a language - how we love you.

July 11th, 2007 · Tags Language, lol | Comments Off

addictive vs. addicting

Angry baby hates your stunted vocabulary

Attention, Internet in general (and I’m especially glaring at you here, Diggtards): addictive and addicting are not! frigging! synonyms!

This is the word addicting. Addicting is a transitive verb. A transitive verb requires a subject and one or more direct objects; for example, “Your improper use of the word ‘addicting’ is abusing my ears.” See what I did there? Abusing, verb, ears, direct object, your improper use of the word ‘addicting,’ subject. Get it? Got it? Good. Side note: if you use this word properly, it is an awkward f’ing word. Let it go.

This, on the other hand, is the word addictive. Addictive is a frigging adjective. It is, in fact, a word that can be used to describe something! As in, ‘ranting is addictive,’ or ’sandwiches are addictive,’ or ‘this Kool-Aid is so good it’s addictive!’ Get it? Addictive is used TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING THAT CAUSES AN ADDICTION.

You people need to quit frigging using addicting when you mean addictive. Oh, sure, you say ‘this cocaine is addicting,’ and you might mean ‘there is a specific property of this cocaine that is addicting me to its use,’ but guess what - you probably damn well don’t. You mean addictive, you English-language-abusing twit.

addictive:
1. Causing or tending to cause addiction: an addictive substance.
2. Characterized by or susceptible to addiction: an addictive personality.

addicting:
1. Causing to become physiologically or psychologically dependent on a habit-forming substance: The cocaine was addicting the thief.
2. Occupying (oneself) with or involving (oneself) in something habitually or compulsively: Playing so many video games was addicting the child.
3. NOT THE SAME DAMN THING AS ADDICTIVE, STOP IT, SWEET JESUS, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

Just in case you were wondering, I’m not the only one who cares. I’m just more annoyed. The English language is already dying a slow, painful death - can we please stop buggering it in every available orifice? Thanks.

June 27th, 2007 · Tags Annoyances, Internet, Language | 1 Comment »

Why is it…

… that TV news people are always so hilariously uninformed about technology, gadgetry, the Internet, or reality in general?

Also, is everything a tool for pedophiles? Frigging everything?

13375p34k means you like sexin’ kids!

March 22nd, 2007 · Tags Internet, Language, News, Video, WTF?, YouTube, lol | Comments Off

An open letter to the Internet in general.

Dear Internet,

I’ve been on a number of different websites today, and I’ve noticed that the Internet, in general, cannot properly spell, capitalize, or recognize a brand name. Here’s just a few of the things that have jumped out at me repeatedly today:

  • Lo and behold, not low and behold.
  • iPod, not I-Pod, i-pod, or IPOD. Similarly, iTunes - not I-Tunes, i-tunes, or ITUNES.
  • While we’re on it: it’s a brand name. Your SanDisk Sansa is not an iPod. It is an MP3 player (or, since most of them support more than one format, an audio player). So is your iPod. An iPod is a type of audio player; it is not something in a separate category all its own (i.e., ‘audio players’ and ‘iPods’).
  • Mac, not MAC, unless you are referring to a MAC address, which has nothing to do with being a Mac, but which a Mac does have.
  • Voilà, not walah or viola.
  • Java, not JAVA. It is not an acronym.
  • Websites or sites, not websights or sights.
  • Brakes = car. Breaks = bones. Breaking your brakes = get new brakes. Slamming on the brakes = stopping the car. Slamming on the breaks = painful.
  • Harmless cartoons, not terrorism (are you paying attention, Boston?).
  • Don’t get me started on apostrophes. The entire Internet has forgotten how to use apostrophes. Fuck you, Internet.

Sometimes I really wish I had never been taught how to properly spell, punctuate, or capitalize. Maybe I could live in blissful ignorance like most of the rest of my country, being led by a man who can’t fucking pronounce ‘nuclear.’ NU. KLEE. UR. IT IS NOT THAT HARD.

Sincerely,
Phil

P.S. Don’t be this guy.

Get a brain! morans

February 2nd, 2007 · Tags Annoyances, Internet, Language | Comments Off

Dear Internet:

Addicting is a verb, the present tense of the verb addict. As in, this game is addicting me.

Addictive is an adjective. As in, this game is addictive.

Figure it out.

Thank you.

–Phil

January 4th, 2007 · Tags Annoyances, Internet, Language | Comments Off